Is That A Yes Or A No?

On the trail this morning, a new friend who moved to Austin from Los Angeles, started talking about how being such a decisive person got her into trouble when she bought her house. She felt pressured from the real estate agent and ignored her unusual wavering over the decision and said “yes” when she now knows she should have said “no.”

I grew up hearing “Make a decision even if it’s wrong.” This can be great advice when we’ve spent days, months, or years going round and round in our heads about a decision. However, for those of us like me and my friend who already have a bias towards action, this well-meaning advice only makes us more uncomfortable with waiting for clarity.

Sometimes we jump forward or backward in our anxiety to move on with our careers or lives when a time out or waiting period might help us get aligned with the best answer for ourselves. If you find yourself anxious to make a decision or feeling pressured by someone else to say yes or no, deliberately pull back from the decision.

Take a few minutes, an hour, or a day to breathe deeply, relax, and focus on the wisdom of your intuition or heart. Ask yourself if you really, truly need to make the decision right now. Chances are the answer is “no.” Let that understanding help you to relax and not force a decision.

Trust that the answer is within and allow it to reveal itself to you at the right time. And giving yourself mental space to allow the answer to come to you when it’s ready usually means the answer will come quickly!

While sitting quietly or walking alone in nature, ask yourself what the right decision is and release it. That means letting your intuitive mind, heart, and soul work on it.

Your thinking mind will want to figure it out, looking at every angle and possible ramification of the decision. Distract it! Remind yourself that the answer’s coming and focus your attention on something completely different, like your breath or the beauty around you.

After about 20 minutes of peaceful distraction, gently ask yourself what the answer is. If nothing comes to you right away, trust that it’s being worked and will come. Be okay with being in that “not knowing” place. Remind yourself that you’ll know the right decision when you’re supposed to and go about your day.

And if you forget all about this and make a ‘bad’ decision, your work is now to learn from the mistakes and turn your attention to all of the good things that came out of that decision. In my friend’s case, she now has much more clarity about what she really wants in a home and neighborhood. And, she has the time to look carefully for just the right place. Aha!

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply